Just Say Aah!

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How could I possibly hope to find even a glimpse of humor in a doctor’s waiting room? What was I thinking when I threw my notebook and pen into my purse as I left the house this afternoon. My goal was to make good use of the usual lengthy wait for my appointment, and jot down a few smile-worthy moments for my readers.
If I am going to find anything for anyone to smile about then where is it? In the whispers of the three teenage girls across the room? Is there a chance that a stray funny comment might escape at a slightly higher volume from those pretty in pink lips?
“Well, today is Nurses day!” the radio announcer declares. Hmm…I wonder… Will their sick hospitalized diabetic patients be putting bows on their germ laden gifts of pre-opened boxes of chocolate?…. For crying out loud Yvonne! What’s funny about that?… Absolutely nothing!… Well, maybe if they weren’t so sick ,or giving away already opened boxes of candy it could be funny! What if they were just at the hospital for tests and putting bows on other things instead?… Forget it! Don’t even go there!
Scanning the bulletin board for inspiration as I clench a folded Kleenex in hand, at the ready for fits of coughing, I wonder, “Who was the Typhoid Mary?” Was this an Easter gift from an under-the-weather sister who attended our family get together Friday? Or was it from the Pastor who struggled with his voice as he apologized on Easter Sunday to all those whose hands he shook after the Good Friday service. Mmm… No humour in that train of thought either.
No Food or Drinks in This Office!” the sign on the bulletin board says. Who would ever be so crazy to do either one or the other at the office of a doctor who, Russian roulette style, nabs random unsuspecting patients with “Step up on the scales please!’’ as they whisper their silent prayers and try to give a wide berth to the offending fixture across from his office door? “Not me Lord! Please not me!” I think as I remember the over consumption at successive meals of leftover ham and other Easter dinner favourites over the last few days.
“It’s International Nurses Day and we’re live from Victoria Hospital” the radio announcer chirps. As opposed to what? I think crankily…“Recorded last year on Nurses Day?” or “Dead!”  maybe? …What a strange expression!  Maybe he thinks we believe they’re having a séance over there!
The sun pops out and a few stray rays stream across the waiting room floor through the basement window. The office occupies half  of the downstairs’  length of my doctor’s house. A half- dead bedraggled aloe vera plant rests on the sill. Not a good sign! Aren’t aloe vera supposed to heal almost anything? Apparently not themselves!
A headache now! How am I supposed to keep my blood pressure, which he will surely check, under control? Now a commercial for a financial counselling service with a point by point recitation of all the things a person can do wrong financially, and I score a whopping 10 out of 10! Buy a C.D. player for crying out loud!
The receptionist is asking someone on the phone if he is “thirsty a lot, peeing a lot?” “Maybe you should come in for a check up.” she suggests. Man! Am I ever thirsty! I think… and I think I have to go too!
Come on Yvonne! Keep the stress under control! He won’t want to weigh you or take your blood pressure today! You’re here for this nasty coughing which is freaking everybody in here out! You can read it in their body language. They’re stressed out!…. It’s not you Yvonne, it’s the bloomin’ scales in the hallway!

About Yvonne's Musings

Being the second of eight kids born in 11 years to my busy parents ultimately was a real advantage to me. I learned very early that if you wanted to be heard amidst all the noise the best way to accomplish it was to write your thoughts down. My first post to my mother," i hate skool. i cried at skool tooday!" was stuck with ABC chewing gum to the lid of the diaper pail, where I was certain that she would find it. Her attention quickly elicited in me a love of writing that has been life long. Seeking a wider audience I have decided to now, decades later, blog. Happy reading Mom! This is for you!

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