A Guy’s View of Laundry and Other Crucial Stuff

The Joy of Laundry  by  my brother Keith

The Joy of Laundry
by my brother Keith

In today’s post  I just have to let you have a peek at a little more of the amazingly honest and hilarious writing of my brother Keith. I haven’t yet persuaded him to have a blog of his own, so this was stolen directly from his Face Book post. He told me once “Just take what you want Vonnie; you couldn’t steal anything if you wanted to. There’s not a dishonest bone in your body.”  Well, I’ve got news for you Keith; so much of what you write is just so darn funny that I am very much tempted to steal it sometimes and not give you the credit! If I could write humour so naturally I’d be twice blessed, once by the gift of you, my little brother, and once more by the talent that you have. This piece, I’ll just have to attribute to you because neither do I have a male alter ego, nor do I  have a wife named Sue. Besides that, after my last rambling piece that I spent hours labouring over and have just recently posted, no one would ever believe I would have had the time to be scraping paint off windows  and other hard work on this hot humid summer day. Thanks Keith for the following:

Over the years I have had the opportunity to learn so many things from the women in my life. How they are able to manage work, raise children, fine cooking, proper selection of clothing and shoes, making a home look feminine and cozy, laundry with selected loads or selective detergents, removing stains, keeping a kitchen tidy, manicures, pedicures, makeup, having multiples of undergarments that won’t show straps,buckles,buttons or clips, cosmetics and nail polish, when it is appropriate to let a big one rip around other people, selective snoring and the understanding that everything around them should be domesticated or live by their rules.
With this in mind I started my rain day by collecting my clothes to start a load in the washer. Clothes from the hamper, my truck, inside the garage door, under a tool box, damp clothes in a Zehr’s bag, suffice to say shirts etc were all over. The hottest of water on heavy duty cycle with lots of Tide, lots of bleach and Oxy clean plus spray some collars with Spray Nine and pre-scrub with a 3M scubber pad. Since it’s a heavy duty washer it should handle a 25 lb load I am guessing…..maybe….or not —we’ll see
When I checked the dryer I noticed some deck screws, a couple driver bits for my hammer gun and 4 straight razor blades ! With extreme fear in my heart I didn’t bother to check the towels that had been in there prior. We probably have a mish mash of smaller ribbon shaped hand towels after an hour with the razor blades….not good….haven’t told Sue yet…..thank God it wasn’t her load of under garments.
For now the machinery in our home can do it’s job as I pack my truck and head out for Dodge ….just slip, slip away, discreetly so that I can live to learn something on another day.

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